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Chucking Yourself Out Of A Plane Might Be One Of The Best Things You Can Do For Your Friends



Another day, another article on friendship. But with something as important as this, inspirations are plentiful, meaningful and found all around.

The reality is that all of us stand to better ourselves a bit within the relationships we find ourselves surrounded by. Some people seek to better themselves in creating friendships, others with maintaining them- and every thing possible in between.

As a progression from of my previous articles (about vulnerability, honesty, and value), ways in which to deepen the bonds between those close to you is a natural and attractive step forward. Plus, the idea came from another very close friend- a huge inspiration!

Having a deeper connection in your friendships is wonderful and allows you to connect with people in ways that needed for the very survival of our emotional wellbeing. Knowing how to do this with people can be a tricky task, and is something people naturally progress to slowly over time. But what if you could expand the depths of all of your friends? Could you become closer to everyone, hand in hand increasing your own emotional socialization and maximizing your own growth?


Without question, this is something I relish in my life. The friendships I have entrenched myself in account for the growth I've been able to achieve as a person, as well as all of the memories and stories I'll be able to tell on a porch someday to make myself sound interesting.

The world craves meaningful relationships and the evidence is found in the multitude of different social structures. People crave socialization whether they realize it or not. Holiday parties, bars, office functions- you name it, and they all boil down to assisting people's basic needs for socialization.

Alcohol is a cheap representative of people and they're desire to bond. In some cases, alcohol is a commonplace instigator of socialization and fuel for friendships. People are drawn to how easy making friendships are without any social thoughts or anxieties that prevent them from sharing themselves honestly to people they normally wouldn't.

Not going to lie, it's such an easy social trap to fall into.

Unfortunately with alcohol, once the drinking is done and the day is new, most often the bond does not carry over quite the same. The bond that was bought for a night is usually exchanged back for the inhibitions that were missing while the night was alive and wild. I'm sure almost anyone can look back on someone they talked to while drinking and then wonder why on earth you were telling a stranger about stuff that would make a good episode if you ever wanted to be featured on Dr. Phil. Or hey, maybe that's just me.

Alternatively, sharing intimate experiences with someone else will always deepen the connection you share with someone. People often think of it as a concept that flows only in one direction- yet this is wrong. It's a common misconception that to share these profound experiences with someone you must be very close with them, but I don't agree. A person can share experiences with someone else they aren't as close with, subsequently enhancing the intimacy between those two people.

For example, when my mother (a sensible woman) decided it would be a good idea (it was) to pay for me to throw myself out of an airplane for a milestone birthday, just being lumped together with the few people taking on the encounter at the same time was enough to spark conversation after and feel a faster connection than the stereotypical, 'it feels forced' conversation with the person behind you at the supermarket. Now if I were to have utilized it with a friend comfortable enough to join me on this, us sharing this experience would elevate our friendship high off of the ground (accidental but welcomed pun).

Have you ever noticed that people just seem friendlier when you're on a tour or vacation of some sort? Of course, the elevated happiness and friendliness from just being on holiday definitely plays into it, but the common ground of a significant experience you're sharing is also a factor.

In short, pursuing opportunities where you can share an meaningful experience with someone will make it easier to increase the intimacy of your friendship. Remaining stagnant as friends and being mired in a routine of things that never change will provide a barrier between friendships, and simply being conscious of it allows for a better chance of proactivity and change. Step out of your comfort zone, and search out those opportunities for growth.

Stepping outside of your comfort zone is probably the biggest, albeit toughest, next step. Even the phrase sounds like the verbal equivalent to getting out from a warm blanket to step onto the brisk floor and colder air of your room. However, just like the latter is needed to head to work or school, the former is also needed to gain the most out of life- and for this example, your relationships. In a previous article about vulnerability, taking the plunge is an idea mentioned to enhance a friendship. This is the tougher, less illustrious concept that takes a little more guts.

Something embedded in my friendships is the notion of shamelessness. Whether it's making sure everyone gets a hug on arrival for one of our annual guys reunion (yeah, we're grown men and we like to hug, so what?), or offering our thoughts unfiltered, as they come, removing the element of shame just allows you an easier path to be free in who you are with everyone around you. Be shameless in the way you approach your friends, the way you communicate with them, and the way you let them know you care. Take the first step by offering a piece of vulnerability by which those around you can build on, and watch the seeds you plant grow.

 Many people remain chained by inhibitions preventing them from expressing their true thoughts and feelings, and appearing free yourself shows others how possible it is to step away from theirs. This ultimately rewards you and the person you share this side to. The important thing to enable this is to understand why someone is reluctant to be real, and encouraging them by being vulnerable and real yourself.


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Comments

  1. You definitely made the concept of the article more understandable and simple.. never thought about it this way.

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